Communication is the way that we explain ourselves to the other people around us. Without out it we would not have any family, friends, relationships or societies. Through communication we build and strengthen relationships with our family, friends, and those around us. Without this communication relationships can weaken and a distance of can grow between people. In my family everyone is supposed to be close and have close family bonds, but this is not the case. Yes I do have strong bonds with my all sisters and some of brothers, but with my father this is not the case. My sisters and I have always been close and I have always confided in them and talked with them. They have been the ones that helped me when I was having issues or most importantly boy trouble. They have given me the talk about the birds and the bees and given me advice from their own personal experiences. Without them I would have been lost and probably would have made some very bad decisions by now. But thankfully they were always there talking and giving me advice.
On the opposite of all this communication was that relationship I have with my father. If communication ran rampant between my sister’s and I, then it was frozen in solid ice with my father and I. When I was eight my mother passed away and I was left with just my sister still living at home and my father. To provide for us my father worked long hours and usually would get home around six or seven every night. So I did not spend much time with him during the week and during the weekend he was found outside tending to our grass and doing outside chores. Communication never really grew between us and this chasm was created and it continued to grow as I grew older. As I grew older this gap was never really addressed and it remained the same with neither my father nor I trying to fix it. The lack of communication created a strained relationship between the two of us and it made us almost strangers living under the same roof. This feeble father-daughter relationship was really thrown to the wolves when my father’s girlfriend came to live with us. Now for the record let’s just say that she and I do not at all get along. So any communication that existed before was nonsexist as soon as the girlfriend moved in; and any communication was not really communication but arguing and yelling. And when the girlfriend and I would get into arguments my father would simply say that I needed to try to get along with her and treat her as part of the family now. This never happened and will never happen.
Even to this day I do not have a close relationship with my father. We do not talk and spend time together like some fathers and daughters do. The lack of communication throughout our lives created this.
In your blog you stated: “Through communication we build and strengthen relationships with our family, friends, and those around us. Without this communication relationships can weaken and a distance of can grow between people.” You bring up an excellent point, regarding the power of the tongue.
ReplyDeleteIt has been said that the tongue is sharper than a double-edged sword and capable of starting forest fires. In your blog however, you touched not on the way that words have the capacity to cause trouble, but on the pain caused by the lack of communication. In fact, I would venture to say that a lack of communication often does more damage to relationships than harsh words.
I think there is really only one reason for this reality in communication. When we talk to each other, we build trust. You tell me something and I suddenly feel like I can open up to you. You start out giving small secrets to people to see how well they keep them; as their ability to keep your confidence is proven, you give them important information to keep safe.
It is natural that without communication, there would be no reason to build trust with another person. The important thing to remember is that if we want to be able to trust others, we must be trustworthy ourselves.
It is true that communication is very important in building relationships. A lack of communication is a lack of a relationship. A relationship can be friendship, relationships with family and a boyfriend or girlfriend.
ReplyDeleteI understand how you might feel, when you talked about your relationship with your father. I too barley speak to my father, not because I don’t want to but because he has always shut down when I try to have a serious life conversation with him. I noticed this more when my mother moved out after their divorce. It makes me think that maybe he was always quiet and would rather say nothing then to bring conversations up that might make us feel sad or angry.
Yes sometimes words can hurt and can make you feel emotions, but we are human and are supposed to feel. Not communicating with each other is hurtful to me. The part when you said “The lack of communication created a strained relationship between the two of us and it made us almost strangers living under the same roof.” That sadden me because that was how I felt when I lived with my father. I know that we cannot change a person or force them to say what they are feeling or what they have to say. Maybe one day it can be different, communication is the key and as long as we have it we will be okay.
Communication is such a crucial part of our lives. I love when people say that they don’t need people in their lives to survive. The simple fact is that we do. We do need people in our lives because to be understood and to communicate is something that’s programmed in who we are; in each one of us. I’m so sorry to hear about your relationship with your father. My best friend is in the very same situation. Her mother passed away when she was a teenager and her relationship with her father prior to her mother’s passing wasn’t exactly stellar, but with her mother gone, their relationship was nonexistent. She says it’s almost like a wedge that just wouldn’t allow them to get to know one another after her mother died. But, it just goes to show how absolutely necessary it is to communicate with others, doesn’t it?
ReplyDeleteWe get so much out of communicating with other people, but we don’t necessarily always realize it. I’m the Public Speaking tutor at the college and if there’s one thing I want to get across to the people I tutor (other than to learn how to appreciate public speaking), it’s that communication is necessary for us. We thrive if there’s an ear to listen to what we have to say. You spoke so when you mentioned your sisters and how important they are to you. It’s so important to have that system in your life. I’m so glad that your sisters are so supportive of you and give you boy advice and are everything you need them to be. Monica, thanks for sharing. I’ll see you in group work next week!